Don't let anybody brainwash you into collecting a useless Mahr
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful
Distinguished Sisters in Islam,
Men inherited the pulpit of the Prophet ﷺ.
Lineage is traced through men.
Male pronouns are primary/predominant in the Glorious Qur’an.
Men inherit twice as much as women.
Sisters in Islam,
Almighty ALLAH gave mahr to women, and Muslim men still want to take it away…!!!!!!
Sisters in Islam, don't let anybody cheat you!!!
If you aren't sure what to collect as mahr,
look into what each of the daughters of the Prophet ﷺ collected as mahr.
Then make Istikharah and collect something that’ll set you up financially for life.
A house. A business. A hospital. Gold.
Mahr is the financial security that Almighty ALLAH bestowed on women.
Don't let anybody brainwash you into collecting something pathetic.
Love is cheap.
Marriage is practical.
Men get twice as much as women in inheritance.
Men aren’t shy or sorry about it.
And never do they give it up as a “virtue”.
Poverty ain’t virtuous.
The Prophet ﷺ seeks refuge with ALLAH from poverty every morning and evening.
Seek refuge with ALLAH from poverty, and do not let the Shayṭān that whispers to righteous men cheat you out of a reasonable mahr.
You can save money on your wedding.
Celebrate modestly if you want.
But never on your mahr.
The Prophet Musa (alayhi as-salām) paid ten years of labour as mahr, and Almighty ALLAH didn’t say the mahr is too much.
Sisters, don’t let Muslim scholars and brothers brainwash you out of what Almighty ALLAH has bestowed on you.
You don’t see them leaving what Almighty ALLAH has given them.
Almighty ALLAH inherited the minbar (pulpit/throne) of Muhammad ﷺ to them —
i.e., only men can be imams; women can never become imams.
Men get twice the inheritance that women get.
Men get so much.
The favour that Almighty ALLAH gave us, they want to sermon, gaslight, and guilt us out of.
Don’t be foolish, sisters — even if he studied Islam for 10 million years, as long as he’s a human, he’s a sinner, and he could be tempted to cheat you out of what Almighty ALLAH has granted you as a favour.
When he commits the sin of restricting what Almighty ALLAH has expanded and made vast, turn your back against him.
It is obligatory to disobey PIOUS, PURE, RIGHTEOUS, KNOWLEDGEABLE PEOPLE who have decided to make small what Almighty ALLAH has made wide.
Don’t let the weight of their names deceive you — they are human beings.
Abandon their words when they abandon the words of ALLAH.
Take from men what they owe you without apology.
The rich owe the poor 2.5% of zakāt.
Men owe women mahr. Any man that is wicked enough to guilt you into collecting a useless, pathetic mahr that doesn’t bestow financial security on you should be avoided.
From among women, there are those who have died from pregnancy.
There’s no amount of money that could pay a woman for the risks of marriage.
Mahr is not a pathetic little gift.
Don’t let anybody make it into that for you.
Avoid men who spiritualise and turn into virtue the act of withholding what Almighty ALLAH has bestowed on the womb-carrying humans.
We are the Messengers of life.
We are the Messengers of life.
Again, we are the Messengers of life.
If men — the Messengers of messages — have decided to disrespect us,
it has become obligatory on us not to disrespect ourselves.
Again, hate the message of those who are trying to brainwash you into collecting a pathetic mahr.
Hate their message.
Collect a poverty-ending mahr.
Seek refuge with ALLAH from Muslim men and Muslim scholars who trivialise mahr. Perhaps they don't realise the evil of their wickedness — make du’aa for them, but don't be deceived by them.
They have made it their full-time job to twist the religion of ALLAH.
Anything that Almighty ALLAH has made vast for women, they are in the business of making small for women.
Women, we are their mothers!
If they forget who we are, we must never forget who we are.
Say no to the brainwashing of righteous, learned Muslim men.
Whether he’s an elder, a boy, or a young man — the moment he moves against you, seek refuge with ALLAH and charge back against their gender-based injustice.
Fight back. Charge back.
In Qur’ān 4:20, Almighty ALLAH explicitly made it clear that a woman’s mahr can be extremely large — even a qinṭār — and still a husband has no right to take it back unjustly.
A qintar is a mountain of gold.
A mountain of gold.
Sisters in Islam, Almighty ALLAH says that you can collect a mountain of gold as your Mahr.
Don't let anyone decieve you!!!
When Almighty ALLAH has spoken, avoid humans whose full-time job is going against the words of ALLAH, when the subject concerns women.
Avoid those people! Even if they have 30 million years of seeking knowledge on their bio.
Distinguished Sisters In Islam,
AFTERTHOUGHT ONE
Sisters in Islam,
Fāṭimah bint Qays (RA) said:
“When I completed my waiting period, Muʿāwiyah ibn Abī Sufyān and Abū Jahm were among those who proposed to me.
So I went to the Prophet ﷺ to consult him.
He said:
‘As for Abū Jahm, he never puts down his stick from his shoulder.
As for Muʿāwiyah, he is poor and has no wealth.’
‘Marry Usāmah ibn Zayd.’”
— Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim (1480)
- The Prophet ﷺ said he was “ṣu‘lūq”
Meaning:- extremely poor
- possessing no wealth
Some people paraphrase this today as “stingy,” but that is not what the hadith says.
The Prophet ﷺ warned her that Muʿāwiyah could not provide financially, not that he was miserly.
Sisters, don't marry poor men who aren't capable of providing because Almighty ALLAH says:
Qur’ān 24:33
وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ الَّذِينَ لَا يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحًا حَتَّىٰ يُغْنِيَهُمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ
“And let those who cannot afford to marry
remain chaste until Allah enriches them from His bounty.”
Key word: yasta‘fif = practice chastity, self-restraint.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“O young men, whoever among you is able to marry, let him marry…
and whoever is not able, then let him fast, for it will be a protection for him.”
— Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī (5066), Muslim (1400)
So:
- Qur’ān → tells men who cannot afford marriage to remain chaste.
- Hadith → adds practical advice: fasting to control desire.
Sisters, a responsible, non-wicked man who's poor won't be chasing after marriage.
وَأَنكِحُوا الْأَيَامَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ ۚ إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ
“Marry off the single ones among you …
If they are poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty.”
This verse is for men who are earning but fear that they'll run out of money if they get married. This verse isn't for men who aren't capable of providing at all lol.
Muslim scholars have sermoned so hard against Muslim women to the point that men now don't think anything is wrong with expecting to be provided for.
Muslim men who pray five times a day have no shame. They'll cross their legs and expect their wives to provide for them without feeling any remorse!
My sisters in Islam, avoid Muslim men who expect you to provide!
I swear by ALLAH that I know of a case of a very hardworking sister who had a complication after giving birth. Her useless highly learned husband with beards and mark of prayer went to buy himself a phone. The money that this wife needs is a fraction of the cost of the phone.
He gives tiny, pathetic, useless upkeep money to his wife that is not enough for food for even a slave.
This is a very strong Muslim man on Qur'an and Sunnah and he plays five times a day.
For more than a year his wife stays struggling PHYSICALLY in health and he buys new clothes for himself. Travels for knowledge. Get new phone and his wife is carrying a baby without balanced diet. With a physical wound in her vagina that's caused by marriage!
I laugh in jest at those of you naive Muslim sisters who are very hardworking.
You think you'll be able to sustain yourself after marriage?
What if you you develop a complication after childbirth.
What would you do until you recover?
A man that gives you something pathetic as Mahr will keep giving you extremely pathetic stuff as nafaq (maintenance).
Any useless Muslim man who has listened to lectures of only provide her with essentials is going to buy cheap menstrual products that are going to cause cancer.
Even if you tell him a million times that you need menstrual products that makes you comfortable while you're bleeding.
He will dismiss whatever comes out of your mouth. After all, all his scholars have told him since the day he was born till the day he got married that all he has to provide is the bare minimum.
Muslim men spiritualise stinginess. They brand it as virtue. They sermon it as piety.
A man that provides you with a useless Mahr is a man that won't feed you good food.
He will constantly talk about as long as I'm providing the basics.
Even prisoners eat food that satisfies them from time to time.
Some Niqab wearing Muslim women have never tasted satisfactory food in 30 years.
Everything is being managed because their husband has never listened to one lecture that tells him to provide to the best of their ability.
All they get told is: provide necessity. Provide bare minimum.
Sisters if you collect a useless Mahr. You'll suffer until you die.
The Islamic society will spend a disproportionate 300 lectures telling women to accept wicked pathetic sustenance from men who are capable of providing more. And one day, briefly in under 2 minutes they'll give a sermon that reminds men to provide the bare minimum. Almost no sermon directed at men so that they will provide generously and cheerfully.
This is despite the fact that Almighty ALLAH says:
Qur’ān 4:4
> وَآتُوا النِّسَاءَ صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً
“And give the women their mahr (bridal gifts) graciously / cheerfully / as a free gift.”
The imbalance is insanely disproportionate!
Marriage in Islam is based on:
- dīn (religion)
- khuluq (character)
- ability to provide responsibly (not wealth itself)
So poverty isn't a barrier to marriage as long as the man can provide.
However, the evil that Muslim men are committing against us, Muslim women, is that they encourage us blindly to marry poor men without any sense of self-preservation.
They pretend that men aren't humans.
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَاءِ
بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ
وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ…
“Men are qawwāmūn over women
because Allah has given some (of them) advantages over others
and because they spend (on them) from their wealth…”
The word qawwāmūn does not mean dictatorship or absolute control.
In classical Arabic and in tafsīr, it means:
- financial responsibility
- protection and care
- maintenance
- support
- being accountable before Allah
It is tied directly to provision, as the verse says:
“…because they spend from their wealth.”
So qawwāmah is a duty, not a privilege.
Sisters, men have many privileges, qawwāmahis not one of them.
Almighty ALLAH says:
“Men are qawwāmūn over women
because Allah has given some (of them) advantages over others
and because they spend (on them) from their wealth…”
Qur’ān 4:32:
وَلَا تَتَمَنَّوْا مَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بِهِ بَعْضَكُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ ۚ لِلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا اكْتَسَبُوا وَلِلنِّسَاءِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا اكْتَسَبْنَ ۚ وَاسْأَلُوا اللَّهَ مِن فَضْلِهِ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمًا
Translation (Sahih International)
“And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others.
For men is a share of what they earn, and for women is a share of what they earn.
And ask Allah of His bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing.”
Sincerely,
Hamidah Abbas | Author, Polygamy Ijma'a
And,
AFTERTHOUGHT TWO
My sisters in Islam, the purpose of this write-up isn't to make you hate believing men.
وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاءُ بَعْضٍ
“The believing men and the believing women are allies (protectors, supporters) of one another.”
And,
AFTERTHOUGHT THREE
My sister in Islam,
A human is still a human even if born without eyes or legs.
Similarly, a woman is a woman even if born without a womb.
Even if you never get pregnant or you don't even have a womb.
No matter what's happening with your physiology, Mahr is your right.
As long as you're born as a woman
In the Shari'ah of ALLAH, the rich must pay 2.5% of their wealth to the poor.
The poor doesn't have to do anything in return.
That's simply the Shari'ah of ALLAH.
Similarly,
In the Shari'a of ALLAH, a groom must pay his bride Mahr.
You don't have to do anything.
I hope that's completely clear.
You can look into this article for more insights.
And my brother's in Islam,
Don't be a monumental uselessness, please.
The reason why Muslim women have been forbidden from marrying non-Muslim men is that a non-Muslim man won't protect her financially, spiritually, emotionally, etc.
Don't be a monumentally useless believer whose wife isn't safe from his financial failure.
Even if you don't have money, at least have the desire, determination, eagerness, and joy to provide.
A man with a hundred Naira that is eager to provide is way better than a billionaire who counts and counts and counts before he provides.
Homework: go and read verse two of Suratul Humazah to discover what Almighty ALLAH says about those who count and count.
Repent today and protect yourself from the fire.
Repent today and protect your wife from the evil in you.
Always remember that arijaluqawamuna ala Nisa. Men are the protectors of women.
It is an obligation to protect her.
It isn't optional at all. You must protect her financially.
As a Muslim man, you can marry the women of the book, because you're still obligated to provide and protect them, they aren't required to do the same for you.
A Muslim woman can never marry a non-Muslim man because he isn't qualified to fully protect her.
He won't know how to bury her Islamically. He won't know what to feed her Islamically. So many things are at stake.
However, a Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim woman of the book because she (and Muslim women) aren't required to bury you or anything like that.
It is the responsibility of the other believing men (even if they aren't your family).
However, qawammah is obligatory for men to women.
Even in the court of ALLAH, you owe her dead body a protection.
She doesn't owe your dead body a protection.
That is how high the obligation of protecting women are.
Shaykh Ibn Taymiyyah never got married and Imam an-Nawawi.
Some of the greatest scholars of Islam cited inability to fulfil the rights of the wife so they stayed away from marriage.
They are scared of failing to protect their wives so they stayed clear of marriage.
they are also capable of chastity without marriage so they kept themselves chaste and unmarried.
However, nowadays, Muslim men treat protecting women as optional. No it isn't optional. It is a severe obligation!
Repent and take seriously what is serious in the court of ALLAH.
Your wife must be safe with you financially. How you treat her can be the reason you go to hell-fire. It could also be the reason you go to paradise.
A man said: “Oh Messenger of Allaah! There is a woman who prays, gives charity and fasts a great deal, but she harms her neighbors with her speech (by insulting them).”He replied: “She will go to Hell.”
The man continued: “Oh Messenger of Allaah! There is (another) woman who is well-known for how little she fasts and prays, but she gives charity from the dried yogurt she makes and she does not harm her neighbors.”He replied: “She will go to Paradise.”
Don't make any mistakes and think that your prayers and fasting will cover what you owe your wife of financial obligations.
If she isn't safe with you financially then you aren't safe with ALLAH.
Your prayers and fasting aren't enough!
Repent today and may Almighty ALLAH forgive me and you.
Without a doubt, I am a human and thus a sinner.
Sincerely,
Hamidah Abbas | Author, Polygamy Ijma'a
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