Most of you (Muslim men) are horrible providers
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful
Distinguished Worshippers of ALLAH,
Isn’t it so interesting that when it comes to any obligatory deed, the instruction is always “do your absolute best and fulfill it to the highest level.”
But when it comes to the obligation of providing for women, suddenly the hypocrisy appears.
Suddenly, Islamic scholars and brothers put ten feet down and insist—using all their strength and power—that “you only have to provide the necessity.”
“Nothing else is expected of you except the necessity.”
Subḥāna’Llāh! What an innā li’Llāhi wa innā ilayhi rājiʿūn situation.
May Almighty ALLAH save this Ummah from the subtle and successful plots of Shayṭān.
It's so unfortunate and shameful that some of you have never provided necessities in your life.
All you provide is humiliation and hardship and then you insist that it's necessity.
What a disgrace and calamity.
My brothers in Islam, one of the greatest blessings from ALLAH is that marriage isn’t compulsory.
And it is so unfortunate that we don’t hear it enough that marriage can be ḥarām for some people.
Actually, in the law of ALLAH, marriage is completely ḥarām for some people.
Again: marriage is ḥarām for some people.
An example is a man who cannot satisfy his wife sexually.
The amount of times some married Muslim sisters were told to “just fast” is simply insane.
You cannot tell a married woman to fast. Fulfill her rights or divorce her. That’s all.
You are a straight-up wicked evildoer if you know you cannot fulfill a woman’s sexual rights and you still proceed to get married.
This is not a light matter if you know.
Sex is a need for some people.
And marriage is the only ḥalāl avenue to fulfill that need.
So how dare you put yourself in her way as an obstacle to meeting the human need that her CREATOR designed into her body?
My brothers, stay away from marriage if you don’t have the capacity for it.
Stay away!
Don’t be an evil monster.
If you can’t provide, please—stay away from marriage.
Even if you’re a billionaire, if you don’t have it in you to spend on others, stay away from marriage.
How is it that your wife sneaks out of the house the moment you leave for work just to find a way to feed her children?
You’re a “big man” with a big name, spending huge sums on charity.
You’re known everywhere.
Yet your wife is received with scorn and rage whenever she begs for help.
People look at her as an insatiable, desperate thief when she tries to borrow money.
Nobody knows this woman hasn’t eaten a meal that truly satisfies her in years.
You’re her single greatest obstacle to help—because of your big name.
If she wasn’t married to you, people would give her freely.
So you give “mightily” to charity—because you’ve listened to lectures about charity all your life—but you won’t look beside you and give to your wife?
Even if Islamic scholars have failed to reinforce the obligation of providing to the best of your ability, can’t you use your brain?
Can’t you use your senses?
How can you provide peanuts to your family and then spend lavishly on charity?
How???
Have you not read the Qur’an?
Qur’ān 65:7
﴿ لِيُنفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِّن سَعَتِهِ ۖ وَمَن قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنفِقْ مِمَّا آتَاهُ اللَّهُ ۚ لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا مَا آتَاهَا ﴾
Translation: “Let the one who has wealth spend according to his means; and the one whose provision is limited, let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not burden a soul beyond what He has given it.”
Or were you sleeping during Hadith classes????
حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ كَثِيرٍ، أَخْبَرَنَا سُفْيَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو إِسْحَاقَ، عَنْ وَهْبِ بْنِ جَابِرٍ الْخَيْوَانِيِّ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " كَفَى بِالْمَرْءِ إِثْمًا أَنْ يُضَيِّعَ مَنْ يَقُوتُ " .
`Abd Allah bin ‘Amr reported the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as saying: It is sufficient sin for a man that he neglects him whom he maintains.
Sunan Abi Dawud 1692 (https://sunnah.com/abudawud:1692)
For years she told you that what you provide isn’t sufficient.
And you dug your heels into the ground and created a playlist of 113 lectures saying “only the necessity is required.”
You are sick.
What you’re providing isn’t enough.
Some prisoners—criminal prisoners—eat a more balanced diet than your family.
I beg you, brothers in Islam: if you don’t have it in you to provide for others, DON’T GET MARRIED. PLEASE!!!
Otherwise, you will find with ALLAH a punishment that's sufficient for you.
If your wife wants to work, she can.
But when she’s working because she has to, that is a mighty failure.
She puts herself in dangerous places, doing menial work, because her husband refuses to fulfill his duty.
You don’t prioritize your family.
You don’t buy her clothes.
You don’t buy her shoes.
You don’t pay for her internet.
You don’t give her money for her hair.
She has to ask for every little thing.
Asking is humiliating.
And even among the poor, ALLAH tells the rich to give to those who never ask.
But in your home, they have to ask for everything.
And when they ask, you frown, raise your voice, interrogate them—and finally hand over a quarter of what they requested.
You give them money that is not enough.
This is an attitude you must never show to a beggar in the Sharīʿah.
And they are not beggars.
You literally owe them.
You literally owe them.
Marriage is not obligatory.
Starting a family is not obligatory.
But the moment you choose marriage, you must provide cheerfully and graciously.
Many of you have failed—woefully.
And with ALLAH is a clear record.
You don’t provide to the best of your ability, and then you mock men who do.
You weaponize sermons to taunt your wife after forcing her to beg for crumbs.
Let me tell you something clearly:
Providing for your wife is not optional.
It is an obligation.
Just as when ṣalāh enters, you must make wuḍū’.
Likewise, once you choose marriage, you must provide to the best of your ability.
How can your wife complain for 12 years that the cheap menstrual pads you buy irritate her, cause her pain, and bring physical discomfort—and for 12 years you refuse to budge because “scholars said only necessity is required”?
She told you those products can cause cancer.
She sent you articles for years.
You ignored them.
Her sisters had to start buying her menstrual pads.
Certainly, you will repay her for the harm you've caused her on the Day of Resurrection.
And whatever you owe her sisters will also be taken from you.
It is now rare to see a Muslim man upon Qur’an and Sunnah who takes provision seriously.
You will see them attending multiple classes, growing beards, praying Salah to the best of their abilities. And may Almighty ALLAH accept these from them.
However, you'll also see them wearing good clothes while their wives are dressed in clothes that makes you want to cry!
This is now a crisis. SubhanaLLAH!
What is this mighty failure dear brothers in Islam?!
You're upon Qur'an and Sunnah.
You're upon the truth and that's what even makes it worse.
How is it that shaytan has succeeded against us when it comes to this matter? How?
The Prophet ﷺ said “Clothe them from what you wear.”
— Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, 30; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, 1661.
How can you dress so well and your wife looks so haggard?
And even if you don't care about what you wear. Care about she wears.
A man came to the Prophet ﷺ wearing shabby clothes and the Prophet ﷺ told him “If Allah has given you wealth, let its effect be seen on you.”
— Sunan Abī Dāwūd, 4063; Sunan al-Tirmidhī, 2819.
So again, I ask you, how come your wife doesn't have any good clothes, dear practising Muslim brothers?
And if you tell me she should be working then I'll tell you that you have lied!
A woman's body is carrying the womb 247.
Even when she isn't bleeding or dieing from pregnancy, she's literally in cycle all of the time with only 3 days of peace every 26 days.
So away with you for saying she should be working!
She should only work if/when she wants!
Ar-rijālu qawwāmūna ʿalā an-nisāʾ Men are the caretakers of women. — Qurʾān 4:34
We have fallen so badly as a society. If not, how will a man whose head is working properly say that a woman should be working.
How?! Have you no shame?!
What an Inali LLAHi wa ina ilayhi rajiun situation we've got!
Islamic speakers, you are failing.
Islamic voices, you are falling.
Shayṭān is winning.
Families are collapsing.
Livelihood is fundamental to life.
And you treat it like a footnote.
Even 100 years ago in Yorùbá land, Muslim men took provision with intense military seriousness—deep, detailed, joyful responsibility.
The Islamic scholars of the time did such a brilliant job to the point that the sense of duty that Muslim men have towards providing for their wives is so strong and beautiful.
We've lost this sense of serious duty in our men who follow the Qur'an and Sunnah!
Today, Islamic speakers treat it like a joke.
Given how close disbelief is to poverty, you would expect seriousness—but no.
Why would they care when they themselves drive cars while their elderly wives hop from one bus to another?
What a failure.
Especially among those who are upon Qur’an and Sunnah.
This is why it’s infuriating.
Shayṭān captured them from an angle they did not suspect.
Brothers in Islam, it should give you joy to provide for your wife and children.
Almighty ALLAH didn't say men should protect.
ALLAH says: ar-rijālu qawwāmūna ʿala an-nisā’.
Men are the caretakers of women.
Existing is enough as a work for women. We literally house the womb that could receive souls from above the seventh heavens!
That is a mighty work!
Honestly, there's no way Almighty ALLAH won't punish you for refusing an obligation if you don't repent!
Taking care of women is a serious obligation so take it seriously,!
Certainly, you are formed and born from the bodies of women!
So what's wrong with you that you do not honour the mothers of humankind?!
Muslim men, where is your sufficient financial protection?!
Even a rooster feeds his hen before he eats.
He calls her loudly when he finds food.
He makes sure she eats first.
This is primal.
This is natural.
This should be a craving in a man.
If you don’t have the primal urge to provide, do not get married. Please.
Something is wrong with you as a man if providing to the best of your ability does not make you elated.
And yes, this sickness of providing like it's an afterthought is even among Islamic public figures—because how else do we have endless lectures teaching men to provide as little and poorly as possible?
When your wife asks for a car, you refuse but you give others, you have failed!
Muslim men,
You provide, yes, you provide.
But stop decieving yourselves dear Islamic scholars and brothers because you people aren't providing necessity, you are providing hardships!
Almighty ALLAH says: Wa lā tansa naṣībaka mina ad-dunyā “Do not forget your share of enjoyment in this worldly life.” — Qurʾān 28:77
Where is the comfort of your wife in this life?
Where are sources of enjoyment?!
Every human needs toy.
Give her a sports car if that's what she wants and that's what you can afford.
If she's into jewellery, get her that!
If she love books, buy her books.
If she prefers money, give her money.
Listen, there's a difference between comfort and extravagant stupidity.
Some of your wives already have multiple sports car yet they're still asking for more and more and more.
I'm not talking about those ones.
Almighty ALLAH has warned us against excessive spending.
Today, I'm talking to those of you whose wives are jumping from bus to bike to walking under hot sun.
And to those of you who say she should work before she could get comfort, keep quiet!
ALLAH says: ar-rijālu qawwāmūna ʿala an-nisā’.
Men are the caretakers of women.
Muslim men where is your financial care?
Where?
Even if you could only afford food once in a day. Share it with your wife. Almighty ALLAH will never burden anyone beyond they can bear.
If you can't buy your wife a car, get her money for transport fare.
If you don't have transport money, spend good words on her and always stay praying to ALLAH.
Every action is by intention.
If you have a hundred Naira and you share it with her cheerfully you are better than a billionaire who hoards and hoards.
It is not about how much you have, it is about the attitude, mindset, and intention!
Some of you, the wife you have at home hasn't worn a good clothe in 5 years yet here you are running helter-skelter trying to marry another wife.
Tell me, how won't you enter the punishment of ALLAH?
How?!
What are some strategies that will make you escape the punishment?!
WHY ARE YOU HIDING AND EATING WHEN YOUR WIFE AND KIDS ARE STARVING?!
Why?!
A rooster calls his hen to eat first—
yet you drive your car while your wife jumps from bike to taxi to bus.
Something is wrong.
How can you drive when your family walks?
How???
Is there no decency left in you?
A true man's duty to his wife is to provide his wife to his highest ability cheerfully.
And this includes supporting her in all of her halal interests. The Prophet ﷺ stood guard until our Mother Aisha (R.A) finished watching the performance of the Abyssinians on eid. You are to provide her with money, status, connection, comfort, and resources that builds her to stand firm with dignity?!
Where is this sense of duty today?!
SubhanaLLAH!
This lost sense of duty is a crisis, and nobody treats it like one.
Even the scholars that mention it only mentions it.
They don't emphasis on it at all. SubhanaLLAH!
In Jāhiliyyah, an upright, kind, and intelligent man like ʿUmar buried his daughter alive because society normalized it.
Today, in a believing society, men provide terribly for their women, and it is normalized.
Subḥāna’Llāh.
Shayṭān has played us.
My brother, if shayṭān hasn't played us. How is it possible that you're using a smartphone in this day and age but your wife isn't.
In this day, a smartphone that connects with the internet is literally a basic necessity.
There's a hundred of things your wife can't do by not having a smartphone but I'll mention one. She literally can't make video calls with her family members.
Brothers, how are you comfortable and perfectly settled and happy in life without a smartphone in your wife's hand? How?
Don't you realise that you are an annoying and irritating hypocrite?
The Prophet ﷺ said “Clothe them from what you wear.”
— Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, 30; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, 1661.
How can you have a smartphone but your wife doesn't?
Dont you realise how irritating and disgusting your hypocrisy is?
She is literally deprived of loads of information.
Completely disconnected from the highest level of free education available on earth.
You're reading/listening to me, she can't!
If your smartphone breaks down for two hours, it's like your life has broken down yet your wife doesn't have a smartphone for years and it is a non-issue for you.
Don't you see that you're an annoying hypocrite?
This woman literally doesn't have any banking apps.
In this day and age, that's like a digital purse that everyone with sense is deserving of. Even non-Muslims have it.
SubhanaLLAH!
I can go on and on and on about how much of life your spouse is missing without a smartphone, however, I'll let you ponder over it and rectify yourself if you indeed have sincerity left in you. I'll conclude by saying living without a smartphone in this day and age would be like living without a pen in the age that pen came to be.
You can't say smartphones can lead to evil, therefore, deprive your wife of it.
That's like saying pens can lead to evil and therefore it's haram.
If smartphones can lead to evil and you're using but your spouse isn't then you have failed in basic human decency.
You have lost the plot and you haven't regarded that woman with the regard that is due to a human.
So how will you regard her with the regard that is due to her as a believing woman and spouse.
I say away with you if you would go into crisis/repairman if your smartphone is broken yet you refuse to get one for your wife.
Woe. Woe. And woe.
What a soft abuser you are.
Verily, you've failed in the obligation of providing.
Even vicious roosters are gentle and generous to their hens—yet believers fail at this.
In public transport, your niqāb-wearing wives sit beside men who rage at the niqāb.
You expose them to harm because you won’t provide a private, safe means of transport.
Even poor responsible men who don't have a car give enough money to their wife so that she can pay for two seats and sit comfortably — that way she won't be sitting next to her enemies.
If you’re stingy to your wife, you are sick.
A normal biologically sound male is not that useless—not even a rooster.
Brothers, if you are extremely stingy, stay away from marriage.
You are not qualified.
Even a rooster 🐓 is happy to provide.
What is wrong with you that you behave like you’re being set on fire whenever your wife needs something?
You won't provide a car for her even when you're capable of providing it. Yet you won't provide her transport fare if she's going somewhere. She has to ask!
Haven't you read from ALLAH?
Qur’an 2:273
Arabic:
لِلْفُقَرَاءِ الَّذِينَ أُحْصِرُوا فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ لَا يَسْتَطِيعُونَ ضَرْبًا فِي الْأَرْضِ يَسْتَغْنُونَ بِمَا آتَاهُمُ اللَّهُ ۖ وَالَّذِينَ يُنْفِقُونَ أَمْوَالَهُم بِسِرٍّ وَعَلَانِيَةٍ فَلَهُمْ أَجْرُهُمْ عِندَ رَبِّهِمْ ۗ وَلَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ
Translation (Saheeh International):
“[Charity is] for the poor who are restricted for the cause of Allah, unable to move about in the land. The ignorant think they are rich because of their abstention [from asking]. You recognize them by their need, but you do not see them asking. And whatever you spend of good — indeed, Allah is Knowing of it.”
Almighty ALLAH said you should give to the poor who don't ask!
So if you are meant to scout out the poor and meet their needs without them asking. How about the family that is related to you?
You don't actively try to figure out what your wife needs. You wait until she ask and even when she ask, you provide some money that isn't enough, you provide with an attitude that you must never show to even a beggar!
SubhanaLLAH!
My brothers in Islam, marriage is not a pillar of Islam.
It is not obligatory.
Stay away from marriage if you hate providing.
However, it will be better for you to read the book of Ibn Qudaamah translated as “purification of the soul”. You need the Qur'an if your soul isn't pure and you can also read other books too.
Your soul is sick if you're stingy to your own spouse.
When it comes to providing in the Shari'ah of ALLAH, your wife is your priority, not your mother. Not your sister.
It is obligatory on the husband of your mother to prioritise her.
And it is obligatory on the husband of your sister to prioritise her.
And if your mother and sister do not have husbands then they come after your spouse.
Your mother isn't your garment and your sister isn't either.
According to the words of ALLAH, your wife is your garment. And you are her garment too.
Not everyone has the capacity to be someone's garment, if you don't have that capacity, DO NOT GET MARRIED.
It's so simple, if you hate seeing blood, don't become a doctor!
And please make no mistakes. Your wife is your garment. Not her family.
Some of you will be paying school fees for your brother-in-law and sister-in-law.
Listen, some of you will leave your mother and sister and you'll be building houses for your sister-in-law.
What's wrong with you?!
If you die today, your sister-in-law won't inherit you and you also won't inherit her if she dies. She's not your family. Your mother-in-law too isn't your family. They are your wife's family members. Not your family.
Prioritise your wife then your mother, father, and siblings.
If you won't be able to prioritise your wife, purify your soul and pray until you are able to then get married.
However, if you are not able to purify your soul.
Stay away from marriage!
May Almighty ALLAH intervene.
This failure of Muslim men in providing is a calamity and I do not understand the silence.
Again, brothers in Islam:
if providing feels painful, stay away from marriage.
Leave marriage for those who can provide cheerfully, as ALLAH commanded.
Fast instead.
And stop lying that fasting “isn’t working.”
If it’s not working, you are not fasting properly.
Eat a moderate suḥūr, and reduce your ifṭār.
Stop eating 7 plates of food for iftar!
How will fasting work when you're a glutton?!
Eat moderate sahoor and Iftar and,
Fast every other day for the next 50–70 years and then come back and tell us fasting doesn’t work.
Stop slandering the sunnah of fasting.
Either work on your soul until providing brings you joy—or stay away from marriage.
Not everyone is qualified for marriage.
Whether you are happy or angry with your wife, you must provide for her.
This requires graciousness—a quality many do not have.
If you aren’t gracious, don’t get married.
If you fail to fulfill your family’s rights, you’re setting yourself up for the fire of Hell.
Even if you owe a stranger a tiny debt, Jannah isn’t guaranteed.
So what of your spouse—the woman who is your garment?
Hurting her is hurting yourself.
If your garment is torn, people will look at you.
Almighty ALLAH didn't call your parents or your children your garment.
They aren't close enough or qualified for that description.
Your spouse is the only family member and human that Almighty ALLAH describes as your garment.
That level of description and intimacy is only reserved for the family that you choose.
Almighty ALLAH has made sure that you don't have a choice in who becomes your children or who your parents are.
However, HE, The Most High, gave you the opportunity to choose who your spouse is.
So what is your excuse?
And why do you not regard the only family that you chose with the regard that is due?!
How can you eat with satisfaction and not feed her until she is satisfied?
How?!
She complains that the food you provide is insufficient.
She feels hunger for hours every day.
But you feast at the office and feel satisfied??
Subḥāna’Llāh—how?!
How can you see a starving dog and not feel something?
This isn’t a dog—it’s your spouse.
Do you forget the ḥadīth of the prostitute who entered Paradise for giving water to a thirsty dog?
The way you feed your wife may land you in Paradise—or Hell.
So act accordingly.
To my sisters in Islam,
Distinguished sisters in Islam,
If your husband is a cheerful provider—one who is genuinely trying to provide but is presently unable to—please be merciful to him. Remember that there were times when the Prophet ﷺ asked his wives if there was food in the house, and none of them had any.
Pay attention: Marriage is built on mercy and tranquility. It is not a battlefield for reciting rights and duties.
Yes, provision is his duty. But when circumstances beyond his control prevent him from fulfilling it, please do not make him feel small. If he is responsible, trust me—he is already embarrassed beyond measure.
So be his garment. Cover his honour. Be as The Owner of the world would have you be.
However, if he is a useless, irresponsible believing man—one who eats to his fill and leaves you scraps—then you are permitted to seek divorce under the Sharīʿah of ALLĀH.
I am tired of the reality in our land: men who claim high practice yet are irresponsible and nonchalant about the transgression of not providing.
Brothers in Islam,
If you cannot provide cheerfully, please stay away from marriage
Do everything you can to stay away from the fire of ALLAH.
I beg you.
Not because I like you that much right now—
but because I am obsessed with seeing Shayṭān fail.
That creature must fail!!!!
For those who also want to see shayṭān fail,
Read the following properly and attentively
Qur’an
- Qur’an 4:34 – “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…”
- Qur’an 65:7 – “Let the wealthy man spend according to his means…”
- Qur’an 2:233 – On the father’s obligation to provide for the mother according to what is acceptable.
- Qur’an 4:19 – Command to live with wives in kindness, which includes proper provision.
Hadith & Sunnah
- Sahih al-Bukhari – “It is sufficient sin for a man to neglect the sustenance of those he is responsible for.”
- Sunan Abi Dawud – The Prophet ﷺ allowed a woman to take what sufficed her when her husband failed to provide.
- Sahih Muslim – “The best charity is what a man spends on his family.”
- Sunan Ibn Majah – “You have rights over your women, and your women have rights over you…” including maintenance.
Classical Fiqh & Scholarly Positions
- Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī – Consensus that nafaqah (maintenance) is obligatory even if the wife is wealthy.
- Ibn Taymiyyah, Majmū‘ al-Fatāwā – A husband unable to provide does not fulfill qawwāmah.
- Imam al-Nawawī, Sharḥ Sahih Muslim – Maintenance includes food, clothing, housing, and appropriate comfort.
- Al-Qurṭubī, Tafsīr (on 4:34) – Provision is one of the defining rights of a wife.
- Ibn al-‘Arabī, Aḥkām al-Qur’ān – The husband’s obligation to provide is binding and unconditional.
