The Gender War That Shayṭān Is Currently Waging on Earth
To the Sincere Seekers and Deep Thinkers,
The Prophet ﷺ taught us that the greatest success for Satan is when he manages to cause separation between a husband and wife.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
إِنَّ إِبْلِيسَ يَضَعُ عَرْشَهُ عَلَى الْمَاءِ، ثُمَّ يَبْعَثُ سَرَايَاهُ، فَأَدْنَاهُمْ مِنْهُ مَنْزِلَةً أَعْظَمُهُمْ فِتْنَةً، يَجِيءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فَيَقُولُ: فَعَلْتُ كَذَا وَكَذَا، فَيَقُولُ: مَا صَنَعْتَ شَيْئًا. قَالَ: ثُمَّ يَجِيءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فَيَقُولُ: مَا تَرَكْتُهُ حَتَّى فَرَّقْتُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ امْرَأَتِهِ، قَالَ: فَيُدْنِيهِ مِنْهُ وَيَقُولُ: نِعْمَ أَنْتَ
“Indeed, Iblīs places his throne upon the water, then he sends out his detachments. The closest of them to him in rank are the greatest in causing tribulations. One of them comes and says: ‘I did such-and-such,’ and Iblīs says: ‘You have done nothing.’ Then one of them comes and says: ‘I did not leave him until I caused separation between him and his wife.’ So Iblīs brings him close and says: ‘Yes, you are the best.’”
— Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, 2813 (also cited in Mishkat al-Masabih, Book of Marriage)
From this Hadith, it is clear that the most important project to shaytan is the destruction of marriages.
The War That Is Going On…
As humans, we all know that shaytan is our enemy. And we are all aware that shaytan is extremely passionate about destroying humans. However, the question is: why is marriage destruction the most important project to shaytan?
Well…
Marriage is the nucleus of the entire human society. Without marriage, there won't be families. Without families, the entire human society will cease to exist.
So what is the foundation of marriage?
The foundation of marriage itself is the different genders. Without the difference in gender, there won't be marriages. Shaytan is our ardent enemy. Therefore, it makes sense that shaytan is destroying families before they are formed by creating serious gender wars.
It is so clear that the current strategy that shaytan is using to destroy marriages—and therefore family and society—is the relentless and everlasting gender war that keeps getting worse year after year. This is a serious victory for shaytan and this victory is embarrassing!
Remembering Our Background
Why have we forgotten our background?
It all started when our father, Adam (ʿalayhi salaam), taught Iblis and the angels the names of all things. After this great service of Adam, Almighty ALLAH commanded the angels and shaytan to prostrate to our father. This prostration is the payment that our father gets for his mighty service of teaching them the names of all things.
The angels prostrated. However, Iblis felt too big to prostrate. So he entered into the eternal wrath of ALLAH because of his arrogant refusal and anger towards ALLAH.
Iblis became an enemy of ALLAH because he was angry at the blessings that Almighty ALLAH gave Adam. Iblis refused to repent, so the Almighty rebuked him eternally. And that's where the enmity of shaytan against humans started.
So away with shaytan.
Adam and Ḥawwāʾ (Peace Be Upon Them)
Thereafter, our father, Adam (ʿalayha salaam), felt lonely in paradise, and then Almighty ALLAH created his life partner for him so that they may both attain tranquility.
Shaytan is very angry with these gifts that men and women will attain if they stay with each other in tranquility. So shaytan got to work. He developed a comprehensive plan. He creeped in on them. His ultimate goal was to make them hate each other.
The first havoc he created was to get Adam and Hawa out of paradise so that they won't be able to attain tranquility. But he failed. Because Adam and Hawa stuck with each other and they repented together, and they didn't blame each other for getting out of paradise.
You can imagine how angry shaytan was for their kindness towards each other.
Shayṭān’s Continued Plot
Thereafter, when our mother, Hawa was pregnant, the Qur'an stated that when the pregnancy became heavy for her, both of them called out to ALLAH. They stayed together so tightly because they have experienced shaytan up close.
Shaytan is very easy to defeat once you camp with ALLAH. Our father understood this, so he and his wife sought refuge with ALLAH against shaytan.
May ALLAH keep us steadfast.
The Children of Adam Today
At the end of the day, you and your wife are just the children of Adam in the eyes of shaytan. He failed to destroy the relationship (marriage) between your parents. Do you think he will let the relationship between their children succeed?
You are really funny if you think he'll allow your marriage to succeed without plotting tirelessly to destroy it.
Our parents (Adam and Hawwa) guarded their marriage from every angle. But nowadays, what are we doing with each other? We left the real enemy. Now, we've made an enemy out of each other.
What a pity.
The Gender Debate Today
If you see 50 people discussing gender in Islam, you will see humans of the opposite gender attacking each other without a single mention of shaytan.
Shaytan has successfully made them forget about him—the real enemy. They are now focused on each other.
I can imagine shaytan sitting somewhere laughing so victoriously as he is planning how to further divide men and women.
By ALLAH, we've been deceived.
Divorce and Mercy
Even at the time of divorce, Almighty ALLAH instructed us to be merciful to each other.
For the disbelievers, divorce means an unsuccessful marriage. However, for us, as long as the marriage ended respectfully, divorce is still a success.
Divorce is allowed for a reason. If marriage will make us enemies, then we can prevent that by getting a cordial and respectful divorce.
But nowadays, if you go to the marriage section of your local shariah court, you will only see a few compassionate divorces. Most of the divorces will be hate-filled.
What is this?
How can we allow shaytan to be celebrating the destruction he has created within us?
Make Shayṭān Lose
Shaytan is very competitive. He doesn't like to lose.
Please, be more competitive. Make him lose. Make him lose. I say, make him lose. He has to lose.
His loss will give me joy. Your victory will give me elation because we are all from the children of Adam.
Shaytan has scored so much against us. It's so embarrassing. However, I refuse to feel defeated. I believe in ALLAH.
Believing Men and Women Are Allies
Almighty ALLAH states in the glorious Qur'an that believing men and women are allies:
وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاءُ بَعْضٍ…
“The believing men and believing women are allies of one another…”
— Surah At-Tawbah 9:71
So let's be allies.
Treating Women Well
The Prophet ﷺ also gave us instructions. Among these timeless instructions is the command to treat women well.
You will find this noble command recorded in Sahih Muslim, Sahih al-Bukhari, Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Musnad Ahmad, and Ibn Hibban.
If women were not at greater risk of being oppressed, this instruction would not have been repeated so strongly.
And how do we honour women? We do this by acknowledging the wrong committed against them.
Concealed Knowledge
In our time, one of the most tragic injustices committed against women is the deliberate concealment of essential knowledge.
In Al-Mughni, Volume 9, Page 483, there is an Ijmaʿa—a unanimous consensus of the Companions—affirming that a woman has the right to choose not to be in a polygamous marriage.
Why are we refusing to broadcast this truth?
We hide this truth because we romanticize polygamy. And every time we suppress this knowledge, we strengthen Shayṭān’s cause.
This concealment has shattered more homes than we can count.
Let the Journey Begin
I swear by ALLAH, recognizing the war that Shayṭān wages against us is only part of the solution.
We will never end the gender conflict until we end injustice. And we cannot end injustice if we refuse to even acknowledge it.
So let us first admit our wrongs. Let us revive the knowledge that can restore balance and mercy between men and women.
Indeed, reviving knowledge is only the beginning.
So, in the name of Allāh — let the journey begin....
Amr ibn Awf reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Know that whoever revives my practice when it has died out after me will have a reward similar to those who act upon it without detracting from his reward in the slightest, and whoever innovates misguidance displeasing to Allah and His messenger will have a sin similar to those who act upon it without detracting from their sins in the slightest.” (Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2677)
Since the Prophet ﷺ commanded us to revive knowledge, I believe that at this point it has become a duty on the Ummah of Muhammad ﷺ to revive this knowledge — on the right of women to choose monogamy. If we revive this knowledge, polygamy won't become extinct. Rather it'll give women who can't cope with polygamy a solution and thus this will protect more marriages in the future.
In this letter, you'll also get to know the only authentic reason why polygamy is made permissible in the law of ALLAH as narrated by Mother Aisha (R.A).
So many people give so many unauthentic explanations for why polygamy was made halal. This literally makes me want to scream.
There's only one authentic reason.
It was narrated in Sahih Bukhari many times.
And in Sahih Muslim, you'll find it only once.
Yet almost everyone is unaware of it. And they all kept repeating so many unauthentic reasons with authority. This error needs to stop.
If you want to know the only authentic reason why polygamy was allowed in the law of ALLAH, read.
If you want to know the step-by-step process that you can follow today as a Muslim woman who would like to be in monogamy permanently, read.
Sincerely,
Your sister in Islam,
Hamidah
Author of The A - Z of Polygamy in Islam (free)
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